Thursday, April 9, 2009
True decisions--in the sense in which it is meant here--are large.
A girl can decide when she is nine to become an Olympic skater, a young man to expatriate himself, or an alcoholic to not drink until they have restored their life to functionality in deeply integrating themselves... or a person can decide to go back to college at night, or a wife upon no longer being able to endure her husband's abuse immediately arranges to leave him for good.
And by decision, a sincere spiritual seeker could decide that they would 'pay any price for awakening, full self realization', only to find that within only twelve swift hours, that their life begins a swift and immediate decline, and is so permicious that for five years ensues a devolution which is unceasing and unrelenting? It is by these big, irrevocable things we mean 'decision'.
If it is not important, it might still be a decision--'I will go to the store to get onions for the fried potatoes'--but does not constitute a REAL decision.
Decisions galvanize the self, and focus laser like effort upon an endeavor, such as a craft, a relationship, or a place. We cannot know when large decisions will occur, but we remember them from the day that they happen, so they alter our life and those around us. We might not remember the exact day, but when they are true decisions they are usually remembered for their poignancy by everyone involved.